Autism and Socialising at University

Introduction

My name is Lee, and I have been an Autism Mentor at De Montfort University (DMU) for nearly three years, which have been the best three years of my vocational life. I work with an incredibly dedicated, award-winning team who strive to deliver sector leading service to autistic students, providing support throughout the student journey, from attending an open day all the way through to the end of their final year.

I too, studied at DMU and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Human Psychology in 2010. I was diagnosed with Autism shortly before starting university and have always felt deep within that I wanted to return to support students, the same way as I was supported during my time there.

Support for autistic students has come a long way since then, and I am truly proud to be part of a set-up which is dedicated to helping autistic students have the best possible experience at university.

The purpose of this article is to share my experiences of supporting students in social settings whilst at university, and to share insights into how this can be beneficial towards improving self-confidence and social motivation, by providing a platform for students to build friendships and acquaintances through the power of shared interests and talents, whilst enhancing communication skills.

One of the many reasons I wanted to join the DMU disability network, and specifically the Autism Team, was to provide what I hope to be valuable one to one mentorship to students. This includes but is not exclusive to, coping with stress and anxiety, managing academic expectations by establishing routines and work plans, enhancing communication skills, working on self-esteem and confidence, and to effectively signpost when necessary.

However, what also attracted me to the role was the amount of additional support the team already provided for students including weekly evening socials, lunchtime socials, residential stays, mindfulness exercises, podcasting, workshops, careers/transitions support and building a diverse, welcoming, and supportive community. When expressing interest in the role, I joined some of the evening and lunch socials to get a taste for what it was like and found myself bursting with pride at the students’ enthusiasm.

Developing the social programme

Of course, whilst societies, sports clubs and student nightlife provide fantastic opportunities for some students to socialise, I could already see the value of providing a social experience aimed specifically at neurodiverse students, some of whom may find social anxiety challenging, or perhaps want to socialise in a different ways or settings to others where they can unmask, be themselves and enjoy the experience in their own way, without fear of forced participation or judgement from others.

My first input to such events was running a quiz night in a privately hired function room. Previous socials had centred around activities such as a game of crazy golf, picnics and board games, so putting an event on such as this in the city, which had not been trialled before came with uncertainties. The socials are led by staff, not students, which adds a different dynamic to what many students will ordinarily experience when attending student-led societies and clubs at university. Finding the balance between having an enjoyable, engaging evening but ensuring all are still aware of professional boundaries is something constantly to think about as a team and something I would also recommend should the AHEAD Journal inspire other support providers to put on events of a similar nature, especially when certain events do encourage participation and a slight letting down of the guard whilst doing so. That said, the night was a huge success. Students engaged with their quiz teams, made new friends, and increased their interaction with me as the evening went on by sharing interests and insights of quiz rounds and categories. It was also incredibly heart-warming to see some students who had been struggling, enjoy themselves and make new acquaintances when given cautious encouragement to attend such events. Some even went on to live together after they had met there!

Delivering the social programme

Since then, our activities, workshops and socials have continued to grow, and quiz nights as well as other new events have been added to our calendars for each term, with up to 40-50 autistic students attending and enjoying a fun evening out in a safe, inclusive space.

Our full programme of events includes:

a social evening every Thursday of term
multiple lunchtime socials held weekly
‘New to DMU’ (a two-day residential event held on multiple dates during the summer for up to 20 autistic students at a time who have the option to stay in halls of residence overnight),
a mindfulness workshop once per week,
careers and transitions support
life hacks workshops (e.g. Tackling Low Mood, Energy Accounting, Challenging Imposter Syndrome)
podcasting
therapy dog support sessions

and

a social media account where students can follow us and keep up to date with plans, schedules and updates.

Student engagement

We have excellent engagement in many of these areas, especially with the socials. Comments from wider members of the disability and wellbeing services in terms of the feedback they receive from their students suggest that it would not be an overstatement to say the calendar of additional events we deliver provides a lifeline for some students, who talk fondly about having extremely positive experiences in such settings. Students have found companionship and a weekly routine of events to choose from alongside their studies.

I asked students to provide some feedback to support this article on how our programme of events has enhanced their experiences of university life and received the following;

Sharon: The socials have helped me build my confidence up. They’ve helped me meet people like ‘student A’ and ‘student B’ who were always encouraging and sweet to me. The socials are fun even if you’re not great at the activity (like me with ninja warrior lol) because of the people around you. It inspires you to give it a go even if you don’t think it’s your thing. The support overall has helped me immensely and I think we are very lucky to have it.

Paula: The Autism Team really helped me to build up my confidence to be able to come to social nights such as bubble tea walks and quiz nights, as well as seeing the Freshers Fair. I met a lovely group of friends at a social and now we are living together! It’s nice to be able to meet people who are similar to me as before coming to university, I would never have imagined going to social events like these.

Frank: Before I came to university, I didn’t really acknowledge my Autism, but you guys and the events you have put on have allowed me to express myself and be myself in an environment I feel safe in.

Carol: ‘The only reason I came to DMU was because of the support from the Autism Team’

Mary: Coming to autism socials over the last two years has helped me so much with making new like-minded friends. Since we’re all Autistic, I always feel so comfortable at socials, and I don’t feel like I need to mask at all compared to when I’m at other socials or in class. It’s also just nice to have a break from classwork and spend time with friends that I already know. Coming to socials last year meant that you could introduce me to one of my now best friends. And I’m so grateful that we met.

Isabelle: As a student with Autism and ADHD, the weekly socials have really helped me to have a break from work so I don't get so burnt out. Knowing that there's something fun I can go to with a welcoming group of people gives me something to focus on during the week. I've also met friends at these socials that I wouldn't have met without them. Being neurodivergent, you can often feel different from your peers, but having these socials allows us a space to interact with other neurodivergent people and feel like we're part of a community.

Listening to student feedback in planning future activities

A key motive to write this article is to highlight the value of creating social events for autistic students which cater to a wider range of interests than perhaps stereotypes have led us to believe. I’m sure some will have preconceived notions about the sorts of activities an autistic person might enjoy. But, just like neurotypical people, autistic people also have a wide range of interests, talents and hobbies. By giving students a voice, we established a desire for more interactive and engaging socials for example, with music, quizzing and sporting activities as well as the quieter, more relaxed socials.

Finding balance and variety is key, something the team and I work incredibly hard to achieve. This includes cost effective ways of providing activities, as well as the types of environments and activities or events we are putting on, as well as considerations for different support needs, interests and accessibility. This, of course, takes a lot of planning and thought, with student feedback and engagement levels also in mind.

During the last three years, we have put on countless events which have been enjoyed by many, from quiz nights to bowling, games nights to craft evenings. But what particularly inspired me to write this was the confidence, companionship and atmosphere that had been created through students expressing themselves through singing, playing instruments and even comedy.

A student who took part clearly grew in confidence and was able to perform a comedy sketch on our own exclusive open mic night, and even went on to run one of our socials whilst we were present, which was a highly successful murder mystery party, with nearly two dozen students enthusiastically engaging.

We introduced both karaoke and open mic nights to our social calendar which is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, we have been enthralled to see how these events have grown, and many students who had perhaps not ever done anything like this before, or rather possibly not had the confidence to perform in front of others, were able to get up and give it go in a safe and supportive environment.

Speaking from both personal experience as well as my observations and conversations with students following these socials, I can see a surge in self-esteem and confidence in many students. We also found some incredible hidden talents within the autistic community here, and it was also noticeable to see how many students supported the events, even though they didn’t perform, and created lots of social connections through the joy of music and shared tastes and interests. A motivation for putting on these events was that during the quiz nights I host there are often music-based rounds, and witnessing the joy and connections made through music inspired the team and I to trial such events as there was a clear interest in bonding through music.

Summer events

During the summer, I trialled a music lunch social in our Chantry building. It is a multipurpose building but as it includes pianos and other music equipment, it is a perfect place to hang out in an exclusive space. Students both new and current become used to the room, as we host a quiz evening and talks there during our overnight residential ‘New to DMU’ stay for new autistic applicants, so there is a general familiarity with the room which hopefully encourages participation.

The summer socials proved a huge success. It was not lost on me that there were students still residing in the city for a number of reasons during the holidays, such as all year-round courses, deferred/resit work or general circumstances meaning university accommodation was the preferred or only option. Whilst we have a fantastic calendar of events to help with structure, routine and connections during term time, during the summer, these reduce in volume, so I felt there was good cause to put this event on, and good turnouts justified this.

Based on conversations with students who have stayed around campus over the summer, at times they may feel a sense of broken routine, loneliness and isolation. However, sharing an hour or two together helped to form connections and share interest in music through playing, listening and sharing passions. Setting an example as a support provider to ensure that all are welcome, no matter their ability or how they choose to socialise, and without the pressure of participation, is hugely important. Connecting through music has been a real success, and is something I’m going to be building on, going into the next academic year, in lunch socials.

Lunch socials

In previous years, our lunch socials have all been of a similar nature, and we offer up to three per week. Whilst these have been successful, adding the joy of music gives students an additional option on top of more regular activities such as board and card games to participate or watch, and will hopefully encourage more to come forward to connect through the joy of music.

We have found a central component for high engagement levels with socials, events and workshops is variety. It is important to remember that generalising autistic interests and passions will alienate some of the community, therefore the more varied the events are, the more likely people will explore the support network and realise there is ‘something for them’. Once friendships and connections have been made, they may then engage in socials which perhaps they wouldn’t have previously, knowing there are friendly and familiar faces there. We have seen this work first hand.

Conclusion

An important factor to consider, when offering avenues for autistic students to create friendships and acquaintances, is it provides a form of transitional support. This can be applied and built-in, in the same way new students are guided through academic teaching methods and expectations, attend open days and having student support meetings in advance of starting to discuss support needs. Whilst this support is great, it can be easy to forget that social isolation and loneliness can have a real impact on student wellbeing, welfare and retention, and by providing the social experience of ‘New to DMU’, offering an evening event once per week and a space at lunchtimes to meet people, provides a fantastic option to combat isolation and loneliness.

Transitioning into University with additional options to socialise and be part of a community has undoubtedly helped some of the students socially, by learning their strengths and challenges in these environments, improving confidence, self-esteem and having a sense of belonging. This can be evidenced from student engagement and feedback, and going forward, we are going to continue to accumulate data, including personal experiences of our students on how a programme of social events enhances their university experience.

Further Information

For some additional context and information on the support we provide at DMU, please check out our Instagram channel, which hopefully demonstrates the power of creating an inclusive environment to socialise in. Our handle is @dmuautism

The DMU Autism Team were the National Association of Disability Practitioners (NAPD) ‘Team of the Year’ award winners in 2023 and have recently made BBC news when a story was covered on the work our therapy dog provides.

We are continuing to grow our services and look forward to providing further updates on this in the future.

(Editor’s note: those interested in community/therapy dogs might like to read the article’ Meet Ulreeka’ the Community Dog, in Journal 16)